


Season(al depression) 10

by ScripturientJ



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Self Harm, Sort Of, Unfinished, im just sad and stupid, its just hair pulling and its a brief mention lol, just me venting, may be finished later, mentions of all the ninja, whump (i guess)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-08 20:37:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15937823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScripturientJ/pseuds/ScripturientJ
Summary: Jay suffers for my mental illness





	Season(al depression) 10

Not every day could be a good day, was what Jay was slowly learning. No matter how much he tried to force it, it just... couldn't be. 

It would happen without warning. He would wake up, and that nagging feeling would be there.   
Nobody else would notice, but, he knew it was there.

Spoken words were replaced by thoughts. The need for company stayed, but the want for it left. His bed was sacred grounds, and if nobody stopped him he would stay there all day. 

No matter how many times Cole reassured him that they were best friends, or Nya said that she loved him, or Zane and Kai and Lloyd saved his life, Jay found it hard to believe they truly liked him. 

He was just an annoyance in their lives. Why did they even bother with him? Why didn't they just kick him off the team? Replace him with Skylor or Griffin, or even Karlof.   
What did he even do anyway, aside from annoy them? 

Anyone else could do what he did twice as well. And it was proven time and time again. 

He muffled himself with his pillow as he curled up facing the wall, afraid of being heard. Even just the idea of being caught like this tied a knot in the pit of his stomach. 

Despite his frequent outbursts, Jay always felt almost... guilty for being like this. Some part of him knew it wasn't his fault, but, the idea of it still plagued him. 

He choked back a sob, tightly pressing a pillow to his face to hide what little noise still managed to escape. His chest hurt. His throat hurt, and each breath felt shaky and forced. His face felt too hot, and his knuckles ached from gripping so hard. 

Jay rolled over onto his back and took in a few breaths in quick succession, calming himself for a moment as he stared at the top of the bunk above him. 

A few heartbeats passed. Suddenly a new outburst of sobs ripped from his chest and he buried his head in his hands, the tips of his fingers digging into his scalp. His fingers curled and pulled on his hair in an attempt to calm himself, desperate for some sort of distraction from the thoughts. 

The stinging pain of it only distracted him for a moment before his thoughts were back on the depression track. 

Choo choo, next stop: self loathing. 

He let out a shaky laugh that broke into another short sob, Jay gasping for breath before he pressed the pillow over his face again.


End file.
